A List of Future Spouse Traits. Am I a Good Fit?

heart-81207__180My “girlfriend” wrote a wish list for “her man.” I say “girlfriend” only because there’s been no official proposal of marriage. But that is just a question of timing. And if you read my sci fi novel Dominion, you’ll know that one of my greatest beliefs is that timing is everything.

With that in mind, I’d like to present her wish list for a dream husband. She wrote this list before meeting me. I find it both fascinating and a bit scary in how well it describes me. I’ll present the list below and add my comments in parentheses.

My Girlfriend’s Dream List for Husband Attributes
gulls-1370979__1801) Tall (I’m 6 feet tall, with broad shoulders)
2) Honest (yes, sometimes to a fault)
3) Realistic (hmm, I majored in math …, show me the facts)
4) Has money (well, yeah, but not enough to retire yet)
5) Funny (yes, bwahahaha)
6) Smart (again, B.S. in math)
7) Vet (4 years, USMC)
8) Brave (bring it on)
9) Strong (an acquaintance and I recently lifted a King Quad into a pickup truck)
10) Has married (twice, actually)
11) Plays outside (this is actually on my list of important things about myself)
pair-167267__18012) Role model for boys (she has 2 sons, and they both like me and look up to me already)
13) Likes my boys and they like him (it’s obvious to me this is true)
14) Not jealous (maybe when I was younger, but I’ve outgrown this stupid emotion)
15) Gets along with ex (I just spoke with her recently and all is well here; we do have the same children after all)
16) Lives more than 50 miles from home town (about 75, actually)
17) Parents are dead or out of state (1 parent out of state, 1 parent 50 miles away, so I don’t exactly fit this, but this is the first discrepency and we’re at item 17.)
18) Knows about Huntington’s Disease (I do now)
19) Retired (No. Is this a deal breaker? Seems unlikely. And I might be only a year or two away from retirement, so this could be considered a close fit)
rings-684944__18020) Can travel (I’ve traveled through 8 states and flown on 4 jets in the last few months)
21) Adventurous (I’ve bicycled from Michigan to Cape Cod)
22) Light drinker (No. Is this a deal breaker? Hmmm. Everything’s relative. And relative to certain siblings of mine, I am indeed a light drinker)
23) Religious (yes, and trying to spread the word about gnostic Christianity)
24) Handyman (no, but I have repaied numerous devices and have installed expensive window shutters at her cabin, so I’d give myself a passing grade but not an “A”)
25) No television (no. I like watching tv. Especially sports. Well, I at least like to have the tv on. Background noise. Besides, we watched a new series last night and both loved it)
26) Reads books (not just read them, I write them, too)
27) Likes music (I own bongos and a harmonica and am playing the piano, and I have a record player to boot)
28) Likes live shows (we have already seen the Marshall Tucker Band perform on stage)

heart-1318847__180So, there you have it. A list of 28 items for a dream man. And the best I can come up with to say I don’t fit exactly is:
a) I’m not retired (no, but I’m close, and it’s something we can work together toward)
b) I’m not rich. I have enough to get by but I wouldn’t say that I “have money” per se. (I evidently have enough as this has not been an issue to date, although this list item is somewhat vague, which is ok because we all seek that “warm and fuzzy” feeling)
c) My mom lives out of state but not my dad. But we don’t have much interaction, and I think the net effect is the same. I fit this close enough for it not to be a show stopper.
margit-wallner-1111260__180d) I watch tv. But I believe this wish item was related to a fear of a couch potato spouse. So, yeah, I watch tv, but I also work out at the gym a lot and am quite fit. So, I think I fit the spirit of this wish.

As 29 is my favorite number, I felt sure she had another one that she’d neglected to write down. Of course, there was. Can drive. And yes, she’d dated someone who’d had a license revoked. So, I figure, I’m 29 for 29. I’m wondering if there are any statisticians out there who could tell me the odds of this.

4 comments: On A List of Future Spouse Traits. Am I a Good Fit?

  • #29 is likes dogs
    “Has money” means that you support yourself and bring enough financial potential to agree to a prenup. I’ve seen too many relationships end up in a dry sucking sound after the lawyers are done “helping”.
    Doug’s girlfriend

    • Totally agree. And that’s a primary reason why I’m totally sold on my current marriage. The “bad news” is that I have to be a dad for a 6 and 8 year old. It’s not that my income is needed (although it’s a good buffer), it’s that I can be a dad to 2 kids who desperately need a dad. And, what the hey, I’m good at it and I enjoy it. I dunno — seems win-win to me.

  • #11…you said that playing outside is on your list about yourself. What else is on your list?

    • Well, I’d have to say, if I were to warn someone about myself, I’d say he’s fairly advanced in the art of self-deception.

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